One of the most profound medicinal journeys I have ever experienced comes down to the essence of life – water.
Being in the pure bio-field of water makes one become it. Your mind is so pristine, your sense of attuning to the natural world is coherent, deep listening becomes default, and you do not tolerate things that are not in service to your soul or higher self.
Water washes away the perceived security that is often imposed by society. Rather, it is a divine surrender to life itself, both the sweetness and bitterness, like how water would navigate the rough edges of rocks, it flows, slides, falls, and curves with loving abandon.
Water fasting has transformed my entire state of being. Water holds the wisdom of the discomforts deep stillness, inevitably resting deeper, cleansing generational gunk from your colon, and listening to what the body truly needs. Water washes away the perceived security that is often imposed by society. Rather, it is a divine surrender to life itself, both the sweetness and bitterness, like how water would navigate the rough edges of rocks, it flows, slides, falls, and curves with loving abandon.
Since the gut is in our core – our power center, having that ability to access our power center with more clarity is truly life changing. It is in our gut that also holds the ability to receive and digest nutrition and information and also the ability to let go. Simple concepts, yet things we grapple and struggle with emotionally, mentally, and psychologically on a daily.
When our gut microbiome is filled with parasites, worms, and an over-riding of toxins; then it would be common to hold more grudges in the gut, anger in the liver, and built up resentment and tension over time.
How many times have you come across those looping thoughts of what you did, an hour ago or a few days ago? It is the role of the gut microbiome to absorb healthy flora and fauna, and to let go of the rest. However, when our gut microbiome is filled with parasites, worms, and an over-riding of toxins; then it would be common to hold more grudges in the gut, anger in the liver, and built up resentment and tension over time.
Nine days with water
For 9 days, I drank only pristine mountain spring water. It is possible to go for as long as 21 day water fasts, with a sense of support and ecosystem structured to assist such a deep process. However, even 3 days or 5 days can create massive changes in our internal worlds. I hope to share the intricacies of this process as a way to bring the intense healing abilities of this process to more people. Fasting is the fast track, as many say.
What brought me into water fasting was fatal parasites. Many moons ago, I did a seven day day water fast, and this was the only thing that truly assisted my gut microbiome into a deep reset. I was in an almost-fatal state, barely able to consume anything, even ginger tea I could throw up, and I was bed-ridden for days. Prior to the fast, I attempted at many approaches, from IV drips in hospitals, medicalisation, eating clean, etc. But, I knew in my heart that it was not getting to the core of the issues, which was fatal parasites. I wrote about that process here – Gut Revival from Parasites: 7-day Water Fast.
Months after, I felt again called to fast because I was having issues around my abdomen and womb. I was bloating too frequently, I even got my womb checked by both native healers and the hospital. I got checked for parasites, all clear. I was suspicious, I knew I was not feeling at my optimal state of being, and I had a strong intuition it was related to my gut. So again, the waters of Les Valley in Northern Bali called me into another cycle of water fasting.
The calling for 9 days was intuitive. I did not want to go for as long as 21 days because the recovery takes very long, which I did not have the privilege to be off work for so long, something to consider. I wanted to push beyond 7 days, as to reach a deeper state of cleansing than my last round, to meet my edges. For this 9 day journey, I set aside one month, because I knew I needed to clear work before hand, and to also prepare my body and diet, and I understood the crucial re-feeding journey afterwards. This dedication of my time into this practice has truly set the tone for my health today.
I write about more practical preparations here, which involve re-feeding, sourcing water, duration of fasting, what happens to your body, etc – Deep State of Regenaration: Practical Preparations for Water Fasting.
Vulnerabilities of weakness as counterbalance to capitalism
In this process, we actually do become extremely weak. We may find ourselves in patterns we are not usually in, such as sleeping for 9-12 hours, spending most of the day horizontally in bed (even after 9 hours of sleep), being uncomfortable with boredom, finding stillness difficult, being restless, body pains and deep aches.
Our worth is not defined by our productivity.
In modernity, people are rewarded for how productive they are, how much achievements they have, or even how many followers one has on Instagram. Our worth is not defined by our productivity. This way of measuring success is highly dependent on ablism and privilege. It does not acknowledge the racial, social, and economic politics of our living reality.
If we look at the fringes of the capitalist-colonialist structures; perhaps towards the peoples who live closest to the land, the native and indigenous communities of whose lives depends on the forests and coastlines; they spend a lot of their time in deep listening as a form of observation. They walk the land often and for hours often barefoot, listening not only with their ears but their feet. They can sense when the wind shifts, when the migratory bird patterns are off, and their intuition is pristinely sharpened.
To attune to the rhythm, time, and sensibility of the natural world often asks of us to go slower than slow. There is a lot of wisdom in stillness that often gives us a heightened sense of health, energy, vitality, dreams, and messages to create the world we imagine for ourselves, our lovers, our communities, and our children.
Fasting buddy and fasting community
I was privileged to have come across people that were so supportive, fellow kin who were dedicated to the struggles and weaknesses that fasting brings for the long run of a true state of deeper health and regeneration.
In my first 7-day fast last year, I came across two elderly women who were confronting cancer and we were all fasting together. If I was having a hard time walking that day, I remember them, and their strength to get through. Their spirit and will power was so strong, despite the body feeling immensely weak, the turbulence of emotions, and the pain of processing deeply repressed sensations. However, there were also days when they arrived with a lot of vitality and energy, a natural enthusiasm for life after their bodies go through a cycle of cellular renewal (autophagy).
In my 9-day fast earlier this year, socially I was much more challenged. It was a big group because we were all participating in a fundraiser for domestically abused women and children, and so there was a lot of conversations during the fast, it was particularly social with some brain-storming involved, which did not land well with my system. When you fast, there are things inside your gut that are going through a dying process, this can feel heavy, you are sometimes dizzy or nauseous, and with zero tolerance for social performativity. After this, I took one to two days in solitude.
In the second half of my fast, I was so grateful to come across a special friend where in we were both going through a similar pattern of ancestral clearing. We seemed to be on a parallel path, with similar dreams emerging. We ended up being very close to each other, and she became a deeply supportive sister in my fasting process. She made the process joyful, accompanied, fun, comical, and we spent many hours processing together in ways that only we could understand. We would read tarot cards together, walk to waterfalls with our weak bodies but have the strength of each other, the light of the sun, and the will power to walk towards water.
During the re-feeding journey, it was extremely supportive to have each other because we would extensively discuss ancestral food cravings, and what truly feels right for our body. Even if that means, take 45 minutes to decide on what to eat, we both had the patience for it. Every morning during the re-feed, we would meet at the same spot for a coconut and talk about life for several hours, watching people pass by, and allowing the day to pan out. In the evenings we would sit by the fire and enjoy broth together, sometimes sing, lay under the stars, and the simplicity of that truly truly truly felt like heaven. We would laugh and say ‘we made it, we made it to heaven’ after 9 days in the underworld of fasting. It was all worth it.
One moment that felt particularly beautiful, after a long evening and soulful conversation by the fire during our fast, was when I had to walk back to my home, and it was so dark and I left my phone or any light source… she said, do you need me to come with you to light your way? I said ‘I am okay, I have starlight and faith’ and we both laughed and felt the potency of simple moments and messages like that.
Deep healing potential of colonic hydro-therapy
This feeling is truly one where some of your deepest burdens can alleviate and lift from your shoulders.
The thousands of healing modalities out there is nothing compared to shitting. Clearing deep seated toxins that have been with your for generations, that hold resentment, grief, judgement, anger, and so much more in between – sometimes, you just need it out of your system, and the best way to do that is to shit it out.
The level of clarity, coherence, and lightness one feels after an enema or colonic is incomparable. And, when you do this as a form of sacred practice and ritual while fasting, the second, third, or fourth round of your colonics, the parasites and worms that are hiding in your gut lining will clear. This feeling is truly one where some of your deepest burdens can alleviate and lift from your shoulders.
Working with your asshole and colon, will likely rise emotions of shame, because we have been taught to hide our ‘private’ parts. When, we can have conversations around these topics of taboo more casually, it is likely that people would not experience such repression that drives some people into acts of horrifying violence. Being intimate with oneself in this way can be deeply healing. This too is a form of wisdom, a knowing of your own tendencies, holes, impulses, and in essence, practicing the ability expand our capacity for letting go, to be empty.
Resurfacing of unprocessed trauma through the body
One has to be willing to be with deep core fears.
Yes, uncomfortable emotions, sensations, pains, memories will all surface. This is something to be prepared for. If you do not feel you want to confront this, then I do not recommend fasting at all. One has to be willing to be with deep core fears.
In my own process, my intention was to eradicate shame, guilt, regret, and fear. Although, total eradication may not make sense, at least the deeper layers of it – I was interested to unfurl, to caress, to befriend, and eventually to cleanse out of my system.
I would journal often, taking time to really dig into my inner world, and see what wants to be revealed, what may be lingering in corners, what may be lurking and feeling neglected. This would sometimes come in the forms of inflammation, specific areas of body pain with a full ache that you know is ancestral pain, bizarre dreams, and a lot of crying. This is all part of the process of karmic sweeping, and a deep trust in the messages that your body is telling you. Pain is a friend. It wants our attention, it calls us, sends us messages to decode. The decoding lays in intimacy with your own body.
Afterglow and integration into the chaos of society
I had timed this fasting process intentionally with a plant medicine journey in the coming weeks. It was the perfect primer for my body, because it offered me the willingness to be with mundane divine discipline of daily living, but in the same breathe, the intensity and complexity of life.
It felt like a extreme dis-service to be casually consuming poison in the body because that was what was most accessible. I grieve the time when outside our home we could harvest our medicine, the food forest was the ecosystem of which we walk upon.
Since, my system felt so clean and pristine, I felt so available to receive the present moment in its totality, noticing things that I would not have before, especially on an ethereal level. However, this also made me more sensitive, and I would need more time on my own, I would pause more in between the day, I would take more time to myself before socialising.
It’s challenging to articulate the after effects of such a deep experience. However, I can say that many months later, my body is immensely satisfied, digestive system is maintained with intentional choices, and I am less tempted to over-indulge in what I know will bring my body into a state of potential harm.
I experienced a lot of disappointment in my self, peoples, and societies’ complacency in compromising our health through the frequency of preservative-heavy snacks, sweet, and meals. It felt like a extreme dis-service to be casually consuming poison in the body because that was what was most accessible. I grieve the time when outside our home we could harvest our medicine, the food forest was the ecosystem of which we walk upon. I did not intend to walk with any air of arrogance, I too every now and then enjoy a buttery crusty croissant. However, it comes with some mourning, when you have touched the ability of your body to be so coherent, to only then return to a world that consumes to consume, rather than to consume with the loving intention of health, vitality, pleasure, and company.
I write this with the collective prayer that more people may be in a state of regenerative health, that we may be emotionally de-armoured, that we may be re-sensitised to the natural world, that we may grieve and mourn a world that we can believe and live to be more beautiful, medicinal, pleasurable, and balanced.
I support people through processing with the body/soma through Somatic Mentorship, Biodynamic Somatic Bodywork, and more. You are so welcomed to connect with me.
