I grew up with debilitating severe anxiety and selective mutism. Leading to intense and isolating difficulty in social dynamics, trouble at work, and frequent panic attacks.
Multiple talk therapists later, I was still in the same state. Dancing made me feel liberated and so connected. However, it did not reach the root issues.
One day amidst a panic attack, I went to a Brain Trauma Center. After testing, they recommended Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. I could not afford it, and I was not interested in a cognitive approach to healing. I knew that my healing needed to involve the body, a bottom up process.
I came across Craniosacral Therapy. Cranio refers to cranium (head), and sacral the sacrum (base of spine). Since I have scoliosis, I knew that connecting with my spine would help. This form of somatic therapy made me feel like my body was being listened to with depth, sensitivity, and patience. Best part – you don’t need to always ‘talk’ about the issues. I could ‘feel’ into it in a guided manner.
In that feeling – the gentle reorganisation of my internal systems could emerge over time. Finally, my highly sensitive system could access supported spaciousness. It feels like the body-mind-spirit could connect, express, and rest, as a whole. Chronic aches and pain, that would dissipate, or at least – the way I relate to it would shift. My embodied awareness was refined and more intricate and nuanced. My body became an endless landscape to explore, rather than a burden.
I loved it so much, I pursued a certification in Biodynamic Craniosacral Therapy for over 3 years, along with other trauma-informed touch therapies. Because of my dance background, I quickly picked up this therapy because of my body’s trained ability to tune into other bodies. My kinaesthetic intuition could listen to people beyond the words spoken.
While, it is not the answer to everything, and living amidst capitalism in itself is inherently traumatic… I can say that my anxiety does not paralyse me anymore. It is an old friend that occasionally comes around, and I have tools to feel into it, and tend to it.
I want this for you, as I have been immensely supported by it.
Learn more about Biodynamic Somatic Therapy here.
With much love, Chloe
